


I’m curious of you

by Irrelevantaverrageteen



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 2Chan - freeform, Ambiguous Relationships, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Ass Play, Body Worship, Bottom Seo Changbin, CHANGBIN THIGH APPRECIATION, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Idols, Insecurity, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Now kith, Smoking, Smut, Top Bang Chan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:40:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29660475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irrelevantaverrageteen/pseuds/Irrelevantaverrageteen
Summary: Chan and Changbin kind of come out to each other while working on a song and their relationship begins to change. However every time they get close to crossing the line something always interrupts them. Until it doesn’t.Lightly based off of Wow by danceracha
Relationships: Bang Chan/Seo Changbin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 95





	1. You’re different from when we first met

**Author's Note:**

> This is just for fun. Also because I feel like Changbin’s thighs are not appreciated enough

It’s 3 am and Changbin is lay in bed aimlessly scrolling through his phone, he can see Felix doing the same action across their room, the bunk above him which belongs to Chan is vacant. He sighs heavily, it’s not like he doesn’t know why Chan is never here, he’s always working on new tracks for the team so they can be successful, but there’s a part of him that wishes Chan would be here more. With them, with him. 

He’s not sure why he gets so affected by everything that Chan does, maybe it’s because he’s the leader of their group, the anchor that keeps them at bay, or maybe it’s because he was the only one that held him on the nights where his shoulders couldn’t bare the burden of being a trainee. Either way he feels a different connection to the elder, they have the most in common, with the others Changbin knows Chan feels like he has to be strong, never showing them his vulnerable side, that’s where Changbin feels special. He’s been there, when Chan’s broke down, he’s heard the leaders darkest thoughts and biggest fears and he knows he’s the only one that’s wiped the elders tears when it all got too much. That’s why he feels uneasy whenever Chan isn’t here, feels like there’s a part of him just longing for his presence. 

He’s stood outside the studio at 3:30 am, his feet seeming to have carried him here before his brain could even process it, but here he is. There’s a couple snacks in his bag that he brought from the dorms, he just knows Chan will have eaten some shitty chicken breast and rice about 8 hours ago and that will have been the last thing he’s eaten. Taking off his cap, he walks into the studio, Chan unaware of his presence, too engrossed on the beat playing through the speakers. Silently he shucks off his coat tossing it onto one of the vacant chairs, bringing the other one next to Chan and throwing down some snacks in front of his face, startling the leader and finally getting his attention.Quickly the serious expression etched on Chan’s face melts into a tired smile, one that Changbin returns while slightly patting his shoulder. They don’t say anything, this routine being way too familiar to them; Changbin knows better than to speak to Chan when he’s engrossed in his work, he’d probably get more conversation out of the wall. Instead Changbin just observes the poor posture andthe half awake expression Chan is displaying, eyes dropping to the leaders hands. He feels his stomach stir slightly at the sight of the veins that appear at every subtle movement or flex, he knows he shouldn’t linger on them for too long, he doesn’t need the images of those hands grabbing his thighs or pinning him down. No matter how horny he is, he would never ruin his friendship with the leader, would never break their brotherhood bond. He doesn’t have romantic feelings for him, doesn’t really feel particularly attracted to him either, it’s just nights like these when they’ve been so busy he hasn’t had a second to touch himself, or feel someone else’s touch that he craves a strong body, and a firm grip. He’s not blind, he can see that Chan could give him both of those things. 

“What brought you hear Bin it’s 4 am.” Chan finally speaks up as he halts his work, gaze fixated onto Changbin, eyeing him curiously and maybe even critically.

“You weren’t home for the third night in a row.” He knows it sounds harsh as the words leave his mouth, his gaze probably being more critical than the one casted towards him before, but he can’t tame the slight annoyance, mainly sadness that he feels. Chan rubs his temples with his fingers, sighing heavily, apologetic eyes already glaring at Changbin. If he saw Changbin’s gaze flit to his biceps as they flex, he doesn’t comment on it. 

“I’m sorry. I just get so fucking stressed when I know something isn’t complete, you know what I’m like.” And he does, he knows exactly what Chan’s like: selfless, private and stressed, which is why he knows there’s more. He squeezes Chan’s arm reassuringly, face warming at the tense of the muscle beneath his hands, they make eye contact for a brief second before Changbin breaks up whatever moment they had going on. 

“I know there’s something you’re not telling me. So tell me. We don’t do this bull shit secret keeping with eachother.”At this Chan crumbles, although there’s no tears, Changbin knows there’s something he’s been bottling up. He moves to sit on the desk, right in front of Chan so they’re at eye level, his legs slightly between the leaders, waiting silently for the other to speak. 

“Sometimes I wish I could just do things without it impacting 7 other people. Don’t get me wrong you guys and STAY are my everything but it’s just so fucking scary to know that every single decision I make, personal or professional will impact so many people in some way. I just feel like I’m suffocating sometimes and then I feel so incredibly selfish and ungrateful because I’m so lucky to have you guys, to have STAY, you know?” There’s a brief silence as Changbin processes the words, he’s paying no mind to the hands resting on his thighs, he shouldn’t be horny when they’re having such an important conversation. He understands, he really does, he finds it hard enough so he can’t imagine how Chan feels, being a leader is much more of a responsibility. 

“You’ve sacrificed everything for us, you really think any of us would blame you for feeling suffocated. Channie hyung have you learned nothing, I’m so disappointed.” He adds aegyo to the last sentence, feeling proud when he watches Chan laugh, eyes crinkling and that warm expression is back, the one that makes him feel safe. Chan lightly squeezes Changbin’s thigh, he’s doing that lip biting thing he does when he laughs and it shouldn’t be so attractive but it is. 

“Bin I’d be miserable without you. When did you get so wise baby Changbin.” He flushes as Chan pinches his cheek, although he feels slightly irritated because the leader sees him as a baby he loves the attention so he just laughs along, moving to sit back in his original seat, opening his notes to start typing lyrics. 

The lyrics seem like a lot, however he still has to write another 2 verses, all he has so far is the first verse and the hook to go with the track Chan has nearly completed. He knows these lyrics aren’t StrayKids appropriate, they don’t suit the groups image or purpose, but that doesn’t stop him from nudging the leader and asking him to read what he’s written down. He sees Chan’s face as he concentrates, eyebrows shooting up looking surprised, Changbin doesn’t blame him. 

“The lyrics, well they’re good but they’re a bit provocative. If it was a 3racha track I’d let us run it but this is for StrayKids, I’m just surprised because you don’t usually write like this.” He takes a moment to think before he responds.

“They’re not that provocative, also they’re implicit.” It’s bullshit, he knows the lyrics very clearly are explicit, he can see that Chan thinks the same too as he re-reads the words on the screen, giving Changbin a challenging stare.

“Bin you literally have written ‘fill me with you until it’s only your name I can speak’ I think that’s pretty explicit.” He doesn’t respond, how is he supposed to argue with the truth, he sees Chan analysing him, clearly wanting to speak even more but not wanting to hurt Changbin. 

“Are the lyrics about men Bin? It’s just, I don’t want to assume stuff but there’s a line that says, ‘Your lines are sharp and defined, but ours are not. I’m conflicted, should I admire or desire you’” Chan sounds surprised, he wonders how he could be though when it’s very obvious Changbin likes men. He’s treading lightly as if Changbin has tried to be subtle about it, acting like he’s never seen Changbin walk out of a cubicle with another male idol before. Changbin finds it quite amusing.

“Yeah they’re about guys Chan. I like girls, they’re fun, they’re unfamiliar but sometimes I just like firm hands touching me.I guess I’ve never really told you. It’s not an issue is it?” The vulnerability is apparent in his voice, Chan’s head snaps towards him, hands reaching for his.

“Don’t be a fucking idiot of course it’s not an issue. Come on you think I’ve never fooled around with a guy before.” Oh, that’s new. That’s very new. Changbin didn’t know that at all, he can’t help but feel like the conversation is reaching dangerous territory as Chan smiles at him clearly amused. 

“Well clearly I didn’t know that. Did you enjoy it though?” It’s risky, he knows it’s risky. Chan’s hands tighten their grip on Changbin’s and he sees an unfamiliar glint in the leaders eyes. 

“I like how rough it was, gripping a thicker waist, having a self assured guy completely pliant under me, it really did a lot for me.” He has the audacity to giggle, giggle like he’s not just described everything Changbin wants in bed, someone to hold him down and make him weak. The conversation ends as Changbin takes back his phone, saving the private lyrics shared between him and Chan only, as if it’s some secret. 


	2. The vibe you’ve give off has completely changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changbin can feel the tension in every gaze.

It’s been a few days since the conversation in the studio, and it’s all that Changbin can think about. Ever since he realised there’s at least a possibility of experiencing being intimate with Chan it’s all he can think about. He just wants to know, wants to discover the things nobody else in the group will know about their leader, he wants to feel more special to him. It’s not like he hasn’t noticed the subtle glances Chan takes at his ass, he knows it’s spectacular, sometimes he even has to look back at it himself. He wants more though. Maybe it’s the rich boy within but he’s not used to not getting what he wants, and he wants Chan. He knows Chan is big, of course he does, they’ve showered together on the nights when neither of them could wait their turn. But knowing that isn’t enough for him, he wants to know how he uses it, he’s heard Chan get off before, he wants to know what Chan looks like when he completely let’s go. 

Maybe he’s only wearing an oversized t-shirtthat barely covers his ass with some simple tight boxers underneath purposely to get Chan’s attention. Maybe he’s not. He’s brushing his teeth, hair slightly damp from the shower, he bends forward resting his arms on the counter right in front of the tooth brush holder when he hears the elder approaching the bathroom, knowing that Chan needs to get to it. There’s a sharp inhale behind him when Chan sees him, and he doesn’t blame the leader, he knows his arch right now is impressive. He just turns his head slightly smiling at Chan. He expects him to tell him to move because he needs his toothbrush, what he doesn’t expect is for Chan to place a hand on his waist and lean over him to get his tooth brush, body pressing into his ass and thighs. He can definitely feel the imprint of Chan’s dick pressing into him very slightly but it’s gone before he can really appreciate it. 

He spits into the sink and now opts for sitting on the counter, legs dangling off the side as he watches Chan brush his own teeth, the elder scrolling through his phone.

Chan wipes his mouth once he’s finished, giving Changbin a look as if to say ‘why are you still here’ while also giving his thighs a quick glance. And oh it’s working, he knows it is. 

But Chan is full of surprises today as he walks towards him and separates Changbin’s legs, standing in between them. He rubs his hand carefully up and down the entirety of his right leg. It’s almost sensual the way he does it and Changbin feels the butterflies fleeting around his stomach. Chan carefully observing his legs.

“Do you shave them?” Oh. Now it makes sense, the curiosity clearly getting the better of the leader. But the motions don’t stop, now Chan is soothingly rubbing both of Changbin’s thighs, and it’s extremely distracting. 

“No I get them waxed, it’s more effective that way. Like how smooth they feel.” To prove his point he wraps a hand around one of Chan’s wrists, drags his hand higher up his thigh and around to the side, the mans finger tips grazing the bottom of his underwear. He doesn’t miss the way Chan bites his lip and not so subtly squeezes the flesh, making a small ‘mmm’ of agreement. 

“They feel amazing.” Again Chan squeezes for emphasis, Changbin pretends not to notice the way the fingertips of his right hand have slipped under where his boxers cling to his thigh, grip closer to his ass. 

“They’d feel even better with your head in between them.” He says it as innocently as possible and the reaction is instant, Chan swearing under his breath and squeezing hard, pulling Changbin closer to the edge of the counter.

“God you can’t say shit like that Bin.” Instead of replying he just hums and slips a hand under Chan’s shirt leaving it to rest on his abs, not missing the slight intake of breath from the elder. For the first time tonight he makes direct eye contact with Chan and his gaze is something Changbin has never seen before, there’s both want and irritation floating in them. Before either of them can act on their desires they hear footsteps approaching the bathroom and instantly break apart, the reality of the situation hitting them both as Felix walks in, clearly oblivious to the tension.Changbin sees Chan slightly readjust himself through his pants as he walks out of the bathroom. He ruffles Felix’s hair and jumps off of the counter thanking the lord that his shirt covers the small tent in his boxers and trudges back to their bedroom feeling very irritated by the intrusion. He was so close. 


	3. I can’t understand how I feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They keep getting closer and the lines are starting to blur even more.

Ever since the night in the bathroom Changbin has noticed the shift in his and Chan’s dynamic, it’s nothing major, nothing glaringly obvious and certainly nothing close to how Changbin wants it to be but it’s still there. He feels Chan’s eyes on him a lot more, his hands rest on his thigh a bit too long when 3racha are in the studio, he’s crossing boundaries that they both have tried to avoid. Weirdly, Changbin likes the chase, he likes the continuous push and pull, the growing want and curiosity between them, honestly he’s not sure if he wants to put an end to it. The suspense is similar to when you pull and elastic band to see how far it can stretch, and Changbin isn’t sure he wants to know what happens when it snaps but he continues to pull the band anyway. 

They’re on the poor excuse of a balcony outside their dorm, both of them with cigarettes in their hands. There isn’t much to say, just odd comments about someone they see passing by, the silence is comforting as it envelopes them. Chan slides down the wall into a sitting position taking a long drag, Changbin stares at the protruding veins in his neck as he relaxes his jaw to exhale, Chan meets his eye raising a questioning eyebrow and putting out his cigarette. Changbin’s legs feel like jelly, the heat of the gaze turning him to slush, but with whatever competence he has left he walks slowly over to Chan. Now he’s standing in front of the elder, not really sure as to why neither of them have spoken, they’re still just staring. 

Chan’s hand slides slowly up Changbin’s bare leg to grip his thigh, encompassing it completely, the boy having become accustomed to wearing only boxers with a shirt.

“I feel like you’ve started wearing as little as possible on purpose.” Chan’s right, he has, only so he can feel his leaders stare, and occasionally the slide of his rough palm against his skin when Chan is daring enough. But he can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he has that type of power, not for now.

“It’s just comfortable, I get too hot otherwise.” His voice is light and uncaring, trying to sound as disinterested as possible. He watches as Chan huffs out a laugh, but there’s definitely a glint to his eyes.

“Yeah, is that so?” The words, spoken arrogantly if Changbin might add, are accompanied with Chan squeezing Changbin’s thigh. God. He really has to stop doing that because it’s driving him crazy. 

He’s not said anything to respond, he knows his voice won’t sound sure enough or steady enough, not with Chan’s thumb grazing circles into his thigh,looking up at him as if there’s some sort of unspoken challenge between them. 

“I think you’re lying.” It’s almost whispered into the air by Chan, Changbin watches as the elder moves to nuzzle his nose into the soft skin of his thigh. The younger huffs out a surprised sound, cigarette long forgotten on the floor as his hand comes to lightly grip at the curls on the leaders head. Then he watches as Chan presses a kiss to his thigh, hand now moving now to grip just under his ass.

“I think you know exactly what you’re doing.” Another kiss, slightly more like a bite than the previous one. He whimpers quietly, gripping harder at the leaders hair.

“I have no idea what you mean hyung.” It’s pathetic how weak he sounds, honestly. Chan gazes up at him almost sinfully and smirks in a way that feels condescending. This time he leans to nip and suck lightly at the plush skin, making him let out a small moan at the slight pain. He feels Chan smile into is skin at the response, thumb coming to wipe at the small mark forming. 

“You’re insufferable.” There’s no bite to the leaders words as he continues to nuzzle his thigh, inhaling deeply when Changbin brushes his nails lightly across his scalp. The younger just hums in response, letting out the occasional whimper when Chan bites and nips at his skin.The leaders hands both come to squeeze at his ass, the elder making a frustrated groan.

“It’s so wrong that all I can think about is how much I want you to sit on my face.” At that Changbin makes a desperate sound, tugging the elders hair so that they’re looking at one another. 

“Let me then.” He mumbles, Chan inhales sharply whispering a ‘Fuck’ under his breath pressing his face back into Changbin’s thigh, hands slipping under his boxers to roughly grip his ass. 

Suddenly there’s a loud clatter followed by a ‘Channie hyung I think I broke something help me,’ that sounds a lot like Jisung. Both men break apart rolling their eyes, Chan leaning back against the wall with a frustrated sound. Changbin watches as he reaches into his pants trying to hide his very obvious semi, once again he’s thankful for his oversized shirt. Chan, before leaving to go back into the kitchen points at Changbin’s thigh making an ‘oops’ expression. He looks down to see a few red marks, too big to pass off as mosquito bites, lining his thighs. Well shit that’s going to be tough to explain. 


	4. With the gaze you give me, let me say wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’ve both got to the point where enough is enough. But who will break first ?

* * *

If he’s honest, Changbin has really reached his breaking point. Chan has the patience of a saint, even after the balcony incident he’s not showed any signs of desperation or want. Changbin can’t take it, it’s worse that both of them have so much pride, neither wanting to make the first move. He’s only been eating light foods and salad, cleaning himself thoroughly everyday on the off chance that something will happen between them. He’s been waiting for this since that discussion in the studio and he’s not risking being unprepared, not a chance. He knows he won’t break first, how can he when Chan is very clearly wrapped around his finger, but this preparation and effort is starting to become frustrating, he just wants to eat a greasy burger and not have to douche every day. He knows it will be worth it though, when it does happen. 

Changbin is lay on his front, covers over him as he’s watching a film on his Mac. He can smell the vanilla body wash he used earlier on his skin, it’s Chan’s favourite scent. He guesses his extreme self maintenance has become more of a habit now, so has wearing oversized shirts with just underwear, honestly he forgets sometimes why he started doing these things to begin with. 

He hears the door of their room open, Chan walking in wearing a loose tank shirt and joggers, without saying anything he slips under the covers next to Changbin, laying on his front.

“What are we watching.” Chan mumbles into his shoulder, hand coming to settle on Changbin’s lower back under his shirt. His breath hitches slightly but realises it’s just a comforting touch. He forgets that before all of this weird tension, cuddling was routine to them. He’s kind of missed Chan touching him without there being any implications. 

“About time, I’m only 10 minutes in but it’s really good.” Changbin replies too focused on the film, Chan just hums throwing a leg over the back of Changbin’s thighs, head coming to rest on his bicep as he starts to watch the film. 

The trouble right now is that all Changbin can focus on is Chan’s hand soothingly rubbing his lower back, he knows it’s just meant to be comforting but he can’t help thinking about how he wants those hands somewhere else. To Chan he probably looks engrossed in the film, but he honestly has no idea what is happening. He shuffles slightly so that he is closer to Chan, barely an inch between his hips and Chan’s crotch. He knows Chan is smart, Chan will know exactly what he’s trying to do, instead of looking to gage the reaction he just carries on pretending to have any interest in the film. 

Suddenly he feels Chan’s hand move lower, grazing over his barely covered ass and then back up to the dip in his lower back, although he makes no sound his feels his face burn. He decided to shift his hips slightly and push back into the touch, clearly suggesting where he wants Chan’s hands. What’s amusing is that both of them are still acting as though they’re paying attention to the film, staring intensely at the screen. He feels Chan’s hand slip under his boxers, coming to rest on his asscheek, his hand moving in a circular motion. Once again he pushes back discreetly while biting his lip to prevent making any noise, trying to tell Chan to continue.

“Have you cleaned.” Is what’s whispered into his neck as Chan places a light kiss there, a feather light finger tapping on his rim, almost as clarification to what Chan really means. 

“Yeah, my self care is immaculate.” He says quite unsteadily. Chan mumbles something into his neck but the sound is muffled.

“What?” 

“I said do you have lube.” As if to emphasise what he’s planning on doing with said item, Chan brushes his fingers over Changbin’s rim again, followed by a squeeze of his cheek. 

Does he have lube? Is that even a question? He reaches under his pillow and pulls out a half empty bottle of cinnamon jelly, his cheeks burn as Chan smirks into his shoulder.

“Someone’s been busy.” He whines slightly annoyed in response, body becoming warmer. He whimpers when Chan pulls down his underwear exposing his ass, cold liquid dripping between his cheeks, Chan groans into his shoulder lightly smacking his butt. They’re still in the same position, Chan lay slightly on his side, leg draped over the back of Changbin’s legs, the younger lay directly on his front, chin resting on his folded arms. Their bodies are covered and it’s nice, nothing over the top, it feels intimate and personal. 

He mentally prepares to feel Chan’s finger enter him, what he isn’t prepared for is the elder shuffling down into the covers, body slipping between his legs, both hands spreading his ass apart. 

“Is it okay if I eat you out?” The leader asks carefully, he wants to groan in annoyance but he’s too moved by the fact Chan is so caring. 

“Yeah, fuck. Bon appetite or whatever.” He huffs out making the elder laugh. He feels chan bite his cheek, sucking it slightly before licking at his rim, tongue slowly working into him and god is he in heaven. Changbin quickly has to push his face into the pillow, gasping quietly, reaching back to fist a hand into Chan’s hair, earning a guttural groan in response. 

He knows he’s being loud with his whimpers but he doesn’t care, not while Chan is between his legs eating him out, scissoring a couple of fingers inside of him. His hand is still in the leaders hair, he pushes back onto Chan’s face, moans becoming louder. The elder hums in responses lightly smacking his ass, he has to bite his arm as he cries out.

“Fuck I knew you’d be like this. Whiny and desperate.” Chan says breathlessly while crooking his fingers to hit the exact place Changbin has been begging for him to reach.

“Please, need more.” To exaggerate he pushes his hips back further. Chan reaches his vacant handaround Changbin’s waist and grips his dick, tugging at it quickly as the fingers inside of him speed up. 

His whines are now more like pants as he’s trying to catch his breath, overwhelmed by the stimulation. He becomes more breathy and high pitched as he feels the familiar tightening in his stomach.

“Go on cum baby.” Is all Chan says before he shakes, moaning loudly as he orgasms. Chan prods at his prostate a few more times, causing him to vibrate more, whimpering. 

“You can fuck my thighs if you need to cum.” He whispers, sounding very fucked out. He hears the elder moan, he presses his thighs together and feels cold liquid being dripped onto them. 

It only takes a few spuratic thrusts and an unnecessary amount of smacks to his thighs before Chan is cumming, warm liquid dripping onto the back of his thighs. Chan breathes heavily, giving Changbin’s ass one parting spank before pulling his joggers back up and removing his shirt to wipe the fluid off of both of them. 

Chan’s body slips next to him, arms coming around his waist, both of them lay panting in the aftermath.

“Yeah that was definitely worth only eating salad.” Changbin huffs out, both of them giggling. Chan squeezes him tighter nosing at his neck. 

“I’ll buy you a burger as a thank you for my meal.” Chan says while placing light kisses onto Changbin’s shoulder. He smacks the elder playfully, both of them laughing some more. 

Suddenly the door bursts open, Changbin is very thankful that Chan had already covered them both. 

“Chan hyung Minho is threatening to air fry me again.” Hyunjin complains, not even questioning why Chan is shirtless in bed with Changbin.The leader sighs and gives him a smile before getting up . As he watches them leave the room Chan turns to him.

“Reign check on round two?” Accompanied with a wink, Changbin rolls his eyes and throws a pillow towards the elder smiling slightly. 

“Fuck off. But sure.” With a wink of his own, Chan makes a praying sign with his hands mouthing ‘thank you god’ which makes Changbin laugh. Okay so maybe,  maybe,  he might be interested in Chan, but that’s a discussion for another day. 


	5. Got me trippin’ like wow, wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changbin can’t help the insecurity he feels at the fact Chan has barely been near him since their moment together. But Chan sees everything and plans to fix it.

They’re at music bank, waiting to go and do their final performance after hours of dry rehearsal. Changbin, if he says so himself, looks like a three course meal. The stylists have put him in those leather pants that hug all of the right places and there’s a corset belt wrapped around his dress shirt, accentuating his small waist and curves. 

His makeup is fairly heavy, there’s grey smoky eyeshadow on his lids, giving him a naturally sultry look. 

As he waits scrolling on his phone he thinks about Chan, they haven’t really had chance to speak since the whole ass-eating situation, Changbin isn’t sure whether Chan doesn’t want it to happen again or whether he simply didn’t like it that much. Speaking of the elder, Changbin’s attention is caught when he walks in wearing similar leather pants, a tank top showing off his arms, and a small leather band wrapped around his tricep, the room suddenly feels a lot smaller. 

“Those pants are really dangerous.”Chan whispers directly into Changbin’s ear, hand slightly grazing the curve of his ass. Changbin, without thinking pushes back into the touch, licking his lip as he turns his head towards Chan’s. 

“They’re more dangerous when they’re off.” He says it with confidence, feeling proud of the frustrated inhale Chan makes, before he can get a response they’re being called to get in their positions on stage ready to film. 

While he’s performing Changbin can only think of one thing. He and Chan haven’t kissed. He’s literally had the elders tongue AND fingers in his ass. But they haven’t kissed, it feels slightly backwards. The thought came to him when Chan aggressively bit his lips during his line, and now the only thing on his mind is those lips, more specifically those lips on his lips. Maybe also Chan’s hands too. 

They make brief eye contact, and it’s heated, what’s worse is that it’s some dirty little secret which nobody else knows. He feels humiliated at the thought of Seungmin or the others knowing he had their leaders fingers inside of him, the same fingers that have produced every track they sing. It’s kind of hot, the more he thinks about it. The danger of getting caught, the privilege of being the only one who’s seen Chan orgasm. He’s really turned on at the thought, he knows this isn’t what he planned, he thought they would do something and then his curiosity would disappear, his questions will have been answered. Instead he’s been left with more questions, how would Chan’s dick feel inside of him, how would it feel to have Chan groaning and grunting into his ear, telling Changbin to be quiet so the others don’t hear him. Fuck. 

They’re all sat on the floor eating pizza, all of them showered, bare faced, in their lazy clothes. Nobody really speaking because of how tired they all are, today was a long day, tomorrow will be even longer. 

“Who wants my last slice, I’m full.” Felix asks to the group, most of them groaning and shaking their heads.

“Bin will eat it, our dweaji will eat anything.” Minho says, jokingly while patting Changbin’s stomach. He knows the elder doesn’t mean anything by it, but he becomes overwhelmed by the insecurity which floods his brain. He knows he eats the most out of all of them, he knows he’s gained weight. But he’s proud of it, his body is the healthiest it’s ever been. He’s also aware that the group would stop with the pig jokes if he ever told them it upsets him occasionally. But is this what they really think of him, did they prefer him when he was skinny? Did the fans? Did Chan? 

Without a word he pushes his box of pizza towards another member and walks to his, Chan’s and Felix’s shared room, glancing at his body in the mirror quickly before settling on his bed. His eyes well up slightly, he doesn’t understand why he’s getting so affected by the words, maybe it’s because ever since Chan saw his body, he’s not touched him again since. He can’t help the self consciousness that creeps into his brain. 

“He didn’t mean it like that Bin.” Honestly, he doesn’t know when Chan entered their room, or how long he’s been watching Changbin lazily scroll through his phone. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He knows he sounds childish, and stubborn, but he really doesn’t want to have this conversation with the person who’s barely touched him since he saw his body. Wordlessly Chan walks over, manoeuvring Changbin to sit on the edge of his bed, facing the mirror. He positions himself behind Changbin, chin hooking over his shoulder, legs draping around his sides. They’re sat back to chest looking at themselves in the mirror. 

Changbin watches as Chan pushes his hands under his shirt, smoothing over his stomach before squeezing it slightly. 

“Your body drives me crazy. You know how much I like your thighs, your butt, but god. Your stomach, the way it’s a little bit squishy but so defined, drives me insane.” Every word was accompanied with a squeeze of his body and a wet mouthed kiss to his neck, Changbin feels breathless as he’s seeing everything in the mirror in front of him. They look so good right now, both of them built, but Chan still looking bigger, Chan’s big hands, one under his shirt, the other gripping his thigh. 

He places a hand over Chan’s which is gripping his leg, and then grinds back, ass snuggly brushing over Chan’s crotch, the leader groaning and squeezing him harder. 

“Fuck Bin look at you, can you take your shirt off for me?” He’s not sure whether Chan sees the uncertainty in his eyes, but suddenly the elder has turned his face to kiss him, passionately but not rough. It’s deep and there’s meaning behind it.

“You know I won’t judge you. If it makes you uncomfortable you need to tell me Bin.” Their faces are pressed together as Chan whispers the words cautiously, instead of replying Changbin reaches the hem of his shirt and slowly pulls it over his head. The elder doing the same thing with his own shirt. He feels Chan’s hands slide up his torso, squeezing his chest and then bringing them back down to squeeze at his waist, while kissing his shoulder. 

“Look at you baby. Look how good you look right now.” Chan says while looking at him through the mirror, there’s something much more intense about looking at eachother in the mirror, observing and watching themselves together. 

“Channie hyung.” He whimpers, feeling overwhelmed with the attention, the love. He watches Chan smile at him. 

“What is it baby. You like being told how beautiful you are? You like hyung telling you how good you are for him.” It’s sensual the way Chan utters the words, hands moving all over his body, one returning back to gripping his thigh. He can feel Chan through his sweatpants, and circles his hips so his ass makes direct contact with Chan’s crotch. They both gasp at the feeling.

“Really want you to fuck me.” He pants, moving his head to nip at Chan’s earlobe, both of them moving their hips faster, now down to their underwear. Chan’s grip on his waist tightens and so does the one on his thigh.

“Like this? Want to watch yourself get fucked by your hyung?” It’s so crass the way Chan kisses the words into his neck, the hand on his thigh moving to rub over the outline of his cock. Chan pushing against him harder. God he can feel how hard Chan is, he feels so turned on knowing that he’s the reason for it. Seeing how small he looks in Chan’s hold, seeing how Chan makes him look so tiny does something to him, it makes him feel hotter. He just keeps panting quietly,sliding his boxers off, Chan following his lead. Already it feels so different, the way he can feel Chan’s precum drip between his cheeks, the movement of his dick sliding over his hole, how Chan grips him hard. He reaches under the pillow to take the lube. 

“I fucked myself before, I should be stretched enough.” He whispers through their quiet pants, he sees Chan bite his lip in the mirror.

“Fuck, you’re going to have to let me watch next time.” He laughs at Chan’s words, both of them smiling at eachother in the reflection. 

“Wait where are the condoms?” It’s amusing to see the panic on Chan’s face, he just smirks and moves again to reach under the pillow. Like he said he likes to be prepared. He hears Chan sigh in relief and feels a sharp smack on his ass as he moves back to his original position. He moans slightly, wrapping his hand around Chan’s wrist as lube is dripped onto his dick, the leaders hand starts tugging, his dick looks even smaller in Chan’s rough palm. 

“Fuck you’re so wet.” Chan moans into his neck, swiping his thumb over Changbin’s tip to prove his point, making him whine desperately. Chan’s left hand has moved to roll the condom on himself, rubbing some lube over it. 

“Baby you need to move to sit on me, it’s not gonna work otherwise.” Instead of waiting though, he pulls Changbin on top of his lap. Changbin gets the idea and tucks each leg under so they’re in a reversed cowgirl position, the back of his calves pressed to the bottom of his thighs. He feels the head of Chan’s dick pressing at his entrance, both of them whispering a moan as it pushes past the muscle. The position of their hands have changed. Chan’s right hand is back to gripping his thigh, his own hand on top of it, the leaders left hand is gripping his waist, guiding him down onto his dick.

“You’re so fucking tight, Jesus.” Chan pants into his shoulder, looking at him hungrily through the mirror. All he can do in response is whine, leaning to kiss the leader completely absorbed in the feeling of Chan inside him. The kiss is more like tongues in eachothers mouths and panting as Changbin adjusts to Chan, gasping when he starts gently rolling his hips, Chan grunting a curse into his mouth, squeezing him harder. 

“You look fucking incredible right now, look at yourself.” Chan groans as he starts lightly bouncing, panting and turning to watch himself. Chan wasn’t lying. His face is sweaty, mouth held open, one hand is desperately gripping Chan’s on his thigh, the other wrapped around himself. He watches his thighs flex as he bounces, seeing the way Chan bites his lips, groaning as quietly as possible so the others don’t hear. The sound of skin slapping skin and the creak of the bed along with quiet pants and whines fills the room. 

“I want to hear your noises so badly.” Chan mumbles into his mouth as they’re kissing again, it’s only because he can’t be loud right now, they’re trying to be as quiet as possible and it’s only turning him on more. Knowing that any of them could hear them and walk in, catching them like this. Chan’s hands all over him as he bounces on his dick, watching themselves in the mirror because they’re that narcissistic. He begins to bounce faster with the left over energy he has, they’ve been at it for a lot longer than he was anticipating but now he feels close, the mirror is slightly foggy from the heat, and it’s so sensual. Chan’s left hand moves to squeeze his stomach, he squirms and quickly moves his hand to stop Chan’s.

“Don’t touch it, s’gross.” He whispers into Chan’s mouth, at this Chan’s other hand smacks his thigh, rubbing over the spot afterwards. 

“No it’s not, it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful. I never want to hear you talk like that about yourself again.” He’s still bouncing but all he can focus on is Chan’s gaze, looking into his eyes reassuringly, the compliment makes him whine loudly, Chan quickly pressing his mouth to his to muffle his noise. Chan’s hand moves back to gripping his waist, and the elder starts to thrust up into him quickly, his other hand wrapping around Changbin’s dick and all Changbin can do is hold both of Chan’s wrists, nails digging into his skin. His breathing quickens, quiet whimpers leaving his mouth, their breaths and noises mixing as they kiss. 

“Hyung I’m gonna cum.” He barely even manages to get the words out, each being broken up by a whimper as the leader moves his hand faster, quickening his thrusts.

“Fuck baby me too.” Is what Chan responds with, moaning when Changbin starts to tighten around him.The pace is brutal now, Changbin is unable to do anything other than hold onto Chan as the elder is pounding into him, he’s biting his lip watching them in the mirror, Chan’s gaze meeting his and then pulling him in for another kiss, both of them just moaning into each others mouths. The sound of their skin slapping is definitely loud enough for the others to hear but they won’t notice, they’ll be too busy playing games. 

The familiar coiling starts in his stomach, his whines becoming more high pitched into Chan’s mouth as his thighs begin to shake, orgasm approaching him, body trembling and clenching, breath getting caught in his throat as he hits his climax mumbling ‘cumming’ weakly into Chan’s mouth, earning a groan from the leader as he shakes, blacking out for a second from how hard the orgasm hit him.He feels Chan move to slip out of him but he pushes back. 

“Don’t pull out hyung. Want you to cum inside.” Chan just swears under his breath, kissing Changbin again and thrusting into him sharply, making him whimper at the overstimulation. He feels Chan shake slightly, sounds becoming more loud, and then with a violent thrust of his hips the elder stills, cumming with a loud groan. For a minute it’s silent, both of them panting to catch their breaths, then Chan’s hand moves to grip Changbin’s chin bringing their lips together in a kiss that feels intimate.

“That was amazing.” Is what Chan says, making them laugh, Changbin just nods his head in agreement, feeling too fucked out to do anything. 

After a while of sitting there in the same position, coming back into reality, Chan moves to slip out of Changbin, the younger whining slightly in protest.

“Baby I’ve got to pull out, we need to go have a shower.” Chan murmurs pressing short pecks to his shoulder. Changbin let’s Chan wrap his arms around him from the back, hands playing with his stomach fat. 

“I meant it you know, I really like your belly.” Chan whispers, and Changbin turns to smile at him.

“Thank you, love you.” He doesn’t mean it like that, Chan knows this and smiles back.

“Love you too, you’re my best friend. You can tell me anything. Like you said we don’t do that secret keeping bullshit with each other.” And Changbin just giggles leaning back into the leaders embrace, although it’s not clear what they are right now, it’s clear they’re something and that’s all the reassurance he needs. 

“CHAN HYUNG I BROKE THE FRIDGE.”They both groan loudly.

“Can a man not have mind blowing Sex and cuddle in peace around here.” Chan mumbles while putting his clothes back on, leaning to peck Changbin’s lips. 

“I’ll meet you in the shower Bin. This may take a while though.” Chan says to him rolling his eyes as he goes to leave the room. 

He just smiles in response, he really wouldn’t have this any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter originally wasn’t planned to be in it but there were comments saying they wanted this so here you go!!


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